day 155: first day survival

The first day back to school is like....well, it's like a lot of things.

For me, it's most like drawing in a very deep breath at 5:30 in the morning and not being able to let it out until....well.....right now. When the kids are in bed (2 already asleep) and all things are prepped for the next day, when we get to do it all over again.

I was nervous, anxious, sad, a bit of excited, ill-prepared yet ready, all rolled into one. I knew that if one thing went wrong, I might just burst into tears. You'd think the sixth time doing this, it'd be no big deal. Ha.

And just when I thought I had the day stretching ahead of me figured out, I'd look over to see the littlest little getting into her school uniform, or trying to tie her shoes, or pushing her lunch bag into her backpack, or smiling at me on the other end of the camera lens and insisting I take the picture with her right in front of Daddy's yellow ribbon, and then I would lose it. Cause six Augusts ago, she was brand new to this world, and today she walked into a big classroom by herself, to a desk with her very own name on it, hung her backpack up on the correct hook, and got busy on her morning work. A girl who would soon learn how to correctly write her name, go all day without snuggling with her blankie, and who would soon be wiggling loose teeth. Time has most definitely escaped me with that one.

What made today easier was a surprise phone call from my far away husband during the morning rush, simply to wish us a good first day back. It was two notes left for me on my desk, one from a girl who I already miss. It was laughter and smiles and "Mrs Conger! I missed you!" from the kids who filed in and out of my classroom today. It was a phone call from a friend at the end of the day, simply to see how my day went. It was three girls anxious to come back to my classroom to tell me all about their own first day.

(sigh)

To say that I'm exhausted right now doesn't even come close. Drained. Spent.

So I'll hit the shower and then lay my head down, much quicker than I was able to last night.

And then somehow, someway, I'll work up the nerve to do it all over again tomorrow, all for the promise of growth, second chances, refinement, and a little bit of fun.