day 149: I should be excited

Yet I'm not.

Each time I head to my classroom to get more work done before the first day of school, I think, "Okay, maybe today will be the day. The day I'll be really excited to start this all over again."

Yet it's not.

Don't get me wrong. I do love my job. Love it that I can work in a Christian environment where people have shared values and where the kids and I can openly talk about God and the Bible in class. Love it that all 3 of my kids are at the same school, in the same building where I teach. Love the kids that walk into my classroom each and every day. Normally, I have all my planning and organizing and decorating done before July 1st.

Yet it's still not.

Doesn't help that last school year was the most stressful and just plain old not good for me.

Doesn't help that my husband is still gone, and will be for one of the most hectic parts of the school year.

Doesn't help that I was busy working at school today while I yet again missed a phone call opportunity from my husband.

Doesn't help that I feel like I'm burned out on most everything right now.

Doesn't help that I now feel like I'm complaining, which I try so hard not to do.