the 15th of March

"Beware the ides of March" was the soothsayer's warning to Julius Caesar in the self-named Shakespearean classic. (Yes, I'll admit to my nerdiness here. As an English teacher, it's not surprising that I'm a lover of Shakespeare.) This was a warning to superstitious Caesar himself, which he did not heed, before he was killed by conspirators. Today, March 15th, is the ides of March. Today's warning? Beware....it may not bring sunshine and fun.

For me, it most certainly has not. The entire day's weather echoed this perfectly. Chilly, rainy, gray, and yucky.

Today is the day.

The yellow ribbon has been tied around my tree.

The blue star flag is hanging from the window by my front door.

It's officially "go time".

I was dreading today, but now that I'm in the throes of it, I think I'm sort of okay. Not completely though. The next few days for Aaron will be long and tiring, I'm sure. Traveling, waiting, briefing, repeat. He texted me this morning that he wished he could fall asleep, hit fast forward, and wake up two days from now. My response was, "Me too. Except I'd choose 7 months."

Four things are helping me right now.

1.) Prayers from family and friends, who know that I am surviving only by the grace of strength from God.

2.) A Panera frozen mango drink from a dear friend. Okay, to be honest, she delivered it to me last night, but you get my point. She went out of her way to do something nice for me, knowing that I could certainly use a little pick-me-up. It's the thoughts behind her actions that mean a lot.

3.) My kids. They are being (at the moment) exceptionally well behaved, and that makes all the difference in the world. They're sensitive to their momma. I won't be surprised when several of them try to sleep in my bed tonight.

This morning, getting ready for school, McK came up to me and said, "Mom, I think it's okay that Daddy is leaving me to go fight in the war because I have two."

I asked her what she meant.

"I have an erf dad (translated: earth) and a Heaven dad. His name is Jesus. It's okay if my erf dad leaves for a little bit, because my Heaven dad is always here."

I only wish I could be as positive and brave as her.

4.) My cell phone. Yes, I'll have just a couple more phone conversations tonight with my best friend; ask my kiddos - they'll tell you I've had that thing plastered to my ear for much longer than normal the past few nights. I'm okay with that. And yesterday, much to my delight, my dear husband made a "sacrificial" purchase. He discovered that with a wi-fi connection and an i-Touch and a texting app, daily (or hourly, if I so choose!) communication between the two of us would be easily possible. My Easter, Mother's Day, anniversary, and birthday present wrapped into one. I cannot explain the weight that this lifts off my shoulders, simply knowing that yes, I can still have some way of chatting with my husband each and every day. Now if I could only simplify the 8 1/2 hour time difference....sadly, no app for that (yet).

I'm not sure yet how often he'll keep it updated, but check out my husband's blog (inspired by my own) at www.aaron-conger.blogspot.com. The purposes of our blogs, jointly, are to vent, record for our families the history of this deployment, and to give others a peek into what goes on in a military family during a deployment.

Ready or not, here we go.....

(Reminding myself of ASC's words....."you're stronger than you think you are"....)