day 76: skewed

While I don't find today to be inappropriately marked as the start of summer (especially since it was a sweltering 92 degrees here today) or a bad idea to get the family together for a barbecue, I do have some issues with how many people view this holiday.

It's become an easy excuse for a sale, a good bargain, and yes, even a reason to throw out some free Pampers Gifts to Grow codes on their Facebook page (don't believe me? look it up!).

Some people can be quick to throw a memorial in the newspaper for this holiday weekend in memory of someone they loved who died. Almost.....but not quite. Others will get one step away from the reason for this day when they thank someone who is currently serving in our military. But they just missed the bulls-eye.

The idea of Memorial Day got its beginnings after our involvement in the Civil War came to a close, but it didn't officially become a national holiday until eight years before my birth, in 1971. (thanks to history.com for re-acquainting me with the basics there) And the reason behind the holiday? Simply to remember all Americans who gave their lives in pursuit of freedom. And yes, I suppose without their sacrifice, we couldn't enjoy a barbecue or a shopping extravaganza. But don't overlook the holiday for its name. Memorial Day should be in memory of someone who fought and bled and died for our United States of America.

And you shouldn't have to dig far into your family tree or even your own personal history to find someone you once knew worth remembering on this day.

For me.....two in particular come to mind, because their deaths and my consequent interactions with their families have left an indelible mark upon me.

Deryk Hallal was a PFC in the Marine Corps when he died on April 6, 2005, in Iraq. ASC and I knew his family because of our work in the Young Marines years ago. I have never met another family so dedicated to keeping their son's memory alive and fighting for what is right no matter the cost than the Hallals themselves. I look up to them so much that I asked Deryk's mom, Pam, to speak at my very first Veterans Day program back in 2006. Their story is a sacred one that still makes tears well up and overflow from my eyes.

Jared Southworth was a 1st Lt in the Illinois National Guard when he was killed on February 8, 2009, in Afghanistan. And that phone call is etched so permanently in my mind....I knew the instant that I heard her voice in the midst of her tears what she was calling to tell me. You see, Jared's sister-in law (his wife's sister) was my good friend Susie. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. Even though I had met Jared only once, I internalized so much of his death because I couldn't help but imagine myself in his wife's shoes. It's a logical fear that every military wife tries (often unsuccessfully) to push away. And even though it wasn't my husband, I was grieving like it was. And even though I've been to numerous military funerals, his was like no other. For a while afterwards, at random times and on those more difficult holidays that passed, I sent cards, flowers, whatever I thought was needed, to his family left behind to deal with life without him--simply because I knew that's what I would want someone doing for me.

So maybe that's what's really at the root of what I'm trying to get across tonight. Don't for a second let yourself lose sight of what today is about. And instead of just remembering a fallen solider or Marine, take your appreciation for them one step further. Reach out to their family. Find something meaningful to do in their memory. Attend local events like Memorial Day functions and Veterans Day ceremonies. Wear a flag pin on your shirt. Be part of a welcome home function at the airport for military members arriving back home. Don't let their death be slowly forgotten with each year that passes, but find something to do to keep their sacrifice on the surface of our lives.