day 48: OBL

Late last night, as my girls slept peacefully and safely in their beds, I learned that the one man ultimately responsible for their Dadddy being gone was dead.

The mastermind of 9/11.

The reason the husband I said good-bye to in February 03 was not the same husband I welcomed home 6 months later.

The reason my kids have to see their Dad in pictures and thru a web cam instead of in person.

The reason I've been with my husband only 7 1/2 of our 10 1/2 married years together.

The reason I have cried way too many tears.

OBL....dead.

At first, I was relieved.

Followed by a flood of memories.

Next was fear.

Not directly for me, but for what that meant was next for my husband.

Come home early? As if.

And if he's gone, then who's left to follow in his footsteps?

Will they retaliate?

Not so much worried about me, but him.

He's already at war, already at risk.

Now, that's just a little bit higher.

It was late here, and early there.

I texted him.

And emailed.

Same message both ways.

"If you can let me know, just would like to hear that all is well."

I knew I had to be careful, because comm was monitored before now, before this.

I slept fitfully.

Awake. Asleep. Toss. Turn.

1:30 the phone rang.

I was not coherent, but I knew it was him.

He was brief, and he didn't want to keep me up, but he wanted to let me know that he knew. That he was okay.

Man, I love that man.

In all honesty, it all didn't matter.

Same world as yesterday.

Same God watching over me, my kids, and my husband.

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear,

for I am with you.

Do not be dismayed,

for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."