day 183: beautiful

School pictures.

Hated them as a kid.

Still hate them as a teacher.

So yesterday, when I got the packet in my mailbox at school of my homeroom kiddos' pics, I flipped through them quickly. Glancing at each boy, each girl, and thinking how good they all turned out. And then, promptly, when I got to mine, I cringed. The hair was not cooperating that day. Definitely not the right smile I wanted. The shirt? Could've done better. Mental note: pay attention to the retake day.

I knew I couldn't wait long before passing out those picture packets to my students this morning; once glance at the stack on my desk, and they'd be begging me to hand them out. The first girl who received hers did as I expected: "Oh, I'm definitely getting retakes!" I hear ya, sister.

But then, the second girl, a girl who's needed much more time than her peers to complete her school years, who tends to be a little slow, a little behind, but always honest and sincere, she totally and completely caught me off-guard.

"This is such a beautiful picture of me."

I told her I agreed with her. That she was right. And she was. I truly believed that for her.

For me, on the other hand......nah. Retake day would be here before I knew it.

Later on in chapel, I heard this song: "You're Beautiful". Had never heard it before, but it was one of those that I instantly loved. One of those that I repeated the title and artist over and over in my head so that when I got home, I could look it up to read the lyrics again and hear the melody one more time.

(little did I know that God was perfectly aligning a reality check for me. funny how He can pull that off at times when I don't think I need one)

After school, after sitting through a tedious meeting, before rushing off to finish off the rest of the to-dos for the day, a friend caught me in the hall. You see, at lunch, I had shared with her my student's comment to receiving her pictures--the beautiful comment, not the retake comment. That friend put words to thoughts that had been scattering around in my head all day. "Can't you just see our God up in Heaven cringing and yelling, 'No!' when we look at ourselves and think we're not beautiful?" Precisely.

And then it became even more clear. A few hours earlier, during my prep time, I had prepared a pre-reading project for one of my classes for tomorrow. It hinges on a story we'll read together about the man who first studied snowflakes (I know, riveting, right?). The students are all going to cut out paper snowflakes (yes, in September), and I made my sample snowflake this afternoon. Intricately written around the snowflake itself, I wrote Psalm 139:13-14: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well."

Hmmmm. That God of ours. He could just shout out to me when I am wrong. Sometimes that might be easier, for the both of us. Yet He's a parent worth imitating, for instead of simply telling me when I'm doing something wrong, and here's the right answer, He takes the higher path and shows me, using his other children, to come to the realization myself.

I know I should forget that retake day is even an option. I doubt I'll ever sincerely love picture day in the future. But my students' words, that song, and that verse, stirs something inside of me, something that I hope will never again be the same.

(and Darcey, don't go stealing this story now for your devotions. it's mine. :)