day 46: how

"I don't know how you do it."

I hear that at least once a day from someone.

They wonder how I can hold everything in balance--kids that fight, complain, and say "I don't wanna!" a lot; school that demands my time, devotion, and concentration; home that needs kept up, fixed up, and cleaned up; finances that need tracked, checked, and told where to go.....and so on. They wonder how I can volunteer to do more things, ask them for what I can pray for on their behalf, or why I don't just wallow in my own self-pity. They question how I can travel across the country with just me and my entourage to the beaches of NC, the streets of DC, or even the various floors of the Children's Museum.

I have an answer to their question.

Two, to be precise.

1.) What other choice do I have? I don't want to simply wish away the remaining time of this deployment, because doing so is a risk, and one I'm not willing to take. I'd rather make the most of this time, stretching and pushing myself even further, than to curl up on my couch and cry and eat too much ice cream. I'd rather make my children aware of the value of strength, courage, determination, and prayer, even though that goes hand in hand with being stressed out and tired and sometimes temperamental. I'd rather make my husband proud of me than have him dread coming home.

2.) It's purely by the grace of God that I can. If you're wondering that very same question, of how I do life, day in and day out, with a husband fighting a war, I don't deserve the credit. God does.