day 211: this is it

Well, this is it. For reals.

I made it.

There were days I wanted to stay hidden under the covers all day.
Days when I wished that Staples sold a fast forward button, found on the shelf right next to the easy button.
Days when I doubted.
Days when I had small glimmers of hope.
Days when people did thoughtful things for me, just for me, that got me through my day.
Days when my own girls were the only reason I plastered a smile on my face.
Days when I cried.
Days when my own bed felt awfully empty.
Days when, miles away from home, my girls and I slept together on hotel beds, journeying on our next road trip adventure.
Days when I thought Day 211 would never get here.

But it's here.

(sigh)

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone's asked me if I'm excited.
The sarcastic side of my brain (which seems to be increasing with my old age) wants to answer, "Nope, not really."
Well, yes, for crying out loud, I am.....but not really, truly yet.
I can't be.
I suppose that's one of the many learned behaviors as a Marine wife.
You learn, just like your Marine husband does, to adapt and overcome, hurry up and wait......and to not get overly excited until that plane is in the air and you're driving to the drill center.

The girls, however, haven't learned that degree of skepticism yet.
They've been telling anyone with two ears of what's about to happen.
The littlest little hasn't slept during her afternoon nap time at school all week.
She tells me she's too excited to sleep (which is probably why she's been crashed out on my bed for an hour now).
The middle little will spontaneously scream without warning, and then tell you it's because she just realized how close he is to coming home.
The biggest little doesn't want me to have a welcome home party this weekend, because she doesn't want to share her dad with anyone else.

Meanwhile.....
Just a few things remain to do.
Sub plans need typed.
A bracelet needs to be made (because I am dumb like that and insist on making a new bracelet to match my new outfit, and why not just put it off till the night before).
Laundry needs hung in my closet and placed in my drawers--my feeble attempt to appear like I have suddenly become a grown up while he was gone.

And then I'll go to bed, with that excitement slowly sneaking up on me.

Because this is it.

(note to my reader: thank you for being courageous enough to follow along on my journey with me. it's been quite a ride, hasn't it? know that for a few days, I'll be out of commission. you don't know how much this chick needs a break. a couple of you have asked that I don't take a long hiatus, that I keep this up. while I can't quite promise I'll keep up the daily thing, I can't quite quit this altogether. geez Louise, I've been at this for a year. it's become a part of my routine. and part of that routine, sadly for me, has been checking my stats every day. every stinking day. I guess it's an ego thing, but I always fear that I've suddenly become boring, that no one will want to read. so I check the stats. and I see that people do. and are. that, I like. so do me this favor, won't you? if anyone ever leaves a comment, it's usually my cousin Jennifer or my friend Rachel. while I love them both, I want to hear from more of you. will you leave a comment this time? tell me your favorite Day. tell me why you kept reading, day after day, month after month. tell me....I don't know.....maybe why you think I should be done. I don't care. just tell me hi. that will make this writer satisfied for now. I'll be back soon...)