what's mine is yours

That's what happens when you're married, right?

When you happen to be married to someone who is in the military and gone a lot, this belief takes on a different significance. I find myself wanting to use his things in an effort to be a little bit closer to him. When Aaron is gone, I typically wear one of his Marine Corps t-shirts to bed. Not only is it nice to see some of his stuff in the laundry once again (that is, if I can successfully join the words "nice" and "laundry" in the same thought), but it comforts me in some odd way. I keep his toothbrush next to mine in the holder on the bathroom counter. No worries - he's got another one with him in NC. May sound weird, but it makes a hole seem not so empty. I drive his truck, usually once a week. I sit at his place at the dinner table. What's his is mine.

A couple years ago, though, on his second Iraq deployment, I took ownership of one possession of Aaron's that I now realize I shouldn't have: his pillow. I found myself waking up on his pillow each morning, and I slowly decided that I liked his pillow, much better than mine. I had bought his contoured memory foam pillow at Kohl's as a birthday present (incredibly expensive, but if you know Kohl's and me, of course it was on sale). Over the months, I slowly made up my mind. What was his was mine. That pillow - mine. All I had to do was to go back to Kohl's, get a replacement, put it on his side of the bed, and all would be well.

Aaron returned home on 21 March 2009. He loved being able to finally sleep in his own bed again, and, of course, next to his beautiful wife. On approximately 24 March, as we climbed in to bed and flipped out the light, the truth came out. "My pillow just doesn't seem as soft and comfortable as it used to be. Isn't that weird?"

My whole body shook with laughter. I am terrible at lying, so I didn't even try. I fessed up, telling him my rationale for the pillow switch. The only thing that blew my cover was the pillow density (who would've thought?). I now know, understand, and appreciate the fine differences between firm, medium, and soft, when it comes to the fluff you lay your head down on at night.

On approximately 26 March, I trekked, once again, to Kohl's. I grabbed and bagged a contoured memory foam pillow in a medium density, on sale, and made yet another switch at home. Actually, I attempted to. When Aaron caught me taking the firm pillow out of the pillow case, you bet I was given a hard time. "I'm kinda getting used to that one. I like it. I don't want a new one."

Wow.

With a clear conscience, I couldn't bring myself to return a pillow that someone had already laid their head on (I had to try it out to see if it would pass the test). I really liked the new one. Not as soft as Aaron's original one, but not as hard as the new one. The medium density pillow wound up in my pillow case. Just call me Goldilocks.